" I think it is important to tell these girls/women that
there will be lifelong consequences to what is often perceived
as a quick fix to the perceived problem of their unplanned pregnancy.
Once their baby is adopted, there is no changing their mind later
when their situation improves or they realize they have made a
mistake. This is a permanent mistake they will make.
"Also, before a baby is born, he is often just a concept
to the pregnant teenager. And it is very different to make a life
changing decision for a concept than it is to make it for a baby
that you can look at and hold in your arms. These decisions are
being made before the baby is born. Therefore the decision of
adoption somehow doesn't seem any more real than the baby does
at the point they are making it.
"One other point that I think is worth mentioning here.
I think that we need to tell these mothers that their babies belong
to them -- not to their parents! Also, even if they have promised
to give their baby away, they don't have to keep that promise!
They don't owe anything to prospective adoptive parents. It is
perfectly acceptable to change their mind, to back out and "break
their word" because this is their child's life that is at
stake! I'm afraid that they may be afraid to "disappoint"
someone else and that might cause them not to stand up for their
own rights. They're probably already feel like they've been a
disappointment to someone just by being pregnant. So, they're
going to be feeling very vulnerable. I think it is important that
we offer them emotional support! Emotional support and understanding
that I wish I had had at that time in my life!"
Considering
adoption? Don't feel you have any other options? We're here to help!
